through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Randomize
