Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
