tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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