I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
