His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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