Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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