considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
