my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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