ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
