College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You're like the curious george of whores
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
