I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
