i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
