I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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