Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
