Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
