Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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