I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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