Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
