remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Randomize
