Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
