I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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