Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
