I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
