Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
