My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
