So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
