I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
