Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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