do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
nutella sex= disaster
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
