If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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