he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
