Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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