I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
It's official drugs can't kill me
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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