Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
