Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
