Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
