I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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