this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
