Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
