just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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