What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
