They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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