I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
