I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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