i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
