i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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