He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
