you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I think I just sharted jello shots
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