i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Randomize
