Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
